Are We There Yet?
by Kennedy2006
Summary: ONE SHOT: When I read John, Khali, Melina and Shane McMahon were all going to Brazil together I thought that’s an interesting group.  It basically takes place on the McMahon private jet and follows the thoughts of each person.


When I read John, Khali, Melina and Shane McMahon were all going to Brazil for a promotional thing I thought, that's an interesting group. I came up with this ONE SHOT. It basically takes place on the McMahon private jet and follows the thoughts of each person.

**A/N: This is all in fun and not meant to offend anyone. The thoughts just kind of spilled out of my mind, and are simply things that I imagined these people actually thinking. Hope you enjoy and at least get a few laughs. Oh, by the way, I saved the best for last.**

**Melina**

_(who just looked over at Shane as he winked at her from his seat across the aisle.)_

Oh for Christ's sake, does the man have no shame? Married, two kids, going on thirty-eight. I suppose the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Just because you sleep with a guy once doesn't mean you become his personal little pet. If Shane wasn't so horny all the time I'd swear he was gay. Have you seen that dance? What's up with that and who told him that was cool? Next time he decides to make an appearance on a PPV for no reason at all I suggest he leave the ten year old gyrations at home.

_(Looking back over at Shane and flirtatiously smiling at him.)_

Oh well, have to get through him if I'm going to continue to get pushed. If he wasn't such a weenie he might actually be cute. Nice eyes, nice smile, extremely confident and rich, all very admirable qualities, but then there's the annoying weenie factor and it all goes out the door. Oh well, it's not like I'm married to him, it's just sex. It could be worse. Shane O Mac could look like that big, dumb ogre of a man Khali. Talk about scary. I wouldn't touch him with a ten foot pole. The guy gives me the creeps. He just walks around with that dumb look on his face and just grunts. Typical man I guess.

_(Looks the other direction at John)._

Ahhh, now there's a sight for sore eyes. Look at me damn it! If only John was so desperate for a piece of my fine ass as Shane was. Who knows, a few drinks, a little dirty dancing on the dance floor, maybe a body shot at some sexy Brazilian night club, and this trip will be worth every second. God I hope Shane doesn't ruin it for me. I'm sure he'll try to wear me around like arm candy as he does all the divas on these overseas trips. He's all about feeding the McMahon ego. Whatever. All I need is five minutes with John Cena and he'll be all mine.

_(Melina lays her head back and closes her eyes with a smile on her face, just thinking of her and a half naked John in Brazil)._

**Khali**

_(Laying his head back not looking at anyone. A stone cold look on his face)_

Thank God Vince didn't make me job to his hyper no talent boy Shane at Survivor Series. Talk about humiliation. It's bad enough he put me in a match with Hornswoggle just to get kicked in the groin, but to have Shane come in as if he's got a big set of balls would have been the lowest insult for any wrestler. Just ask Kane who had to put up with his tough guy act for almost a year. Yeah Shane, we all believe that you're the only guy that could defeat the big red monster. Oh well, just one of the perks of being the boss's son I suppose. I'm not even sure why I'm here? Is it because of my dark skin? Maybe the McMahon's think the Brazilians will embrace me because I'm not so lily white like Cena over there. Earth to Shane and Vince, I'm not from Latin America and you're not fooling anyone by sending me there. Oiy, Americans are so stupid….and puny.

**Shane**

_(Smirking to himself with his hands behind his back)_

Melina wants me and I can't wait to get a piece tonight. Oh, it will happen. I guarandamntee it. It's great being a McMahon. Practically anything I want I get and people still love me. Did you hear them chant my name at Survivor Series? "Shane O Mac, Shane O Mac, Shane O Mac". Granted, it was a very faded chant, but a chant all the same. Ah, yes, my fans. I love them. All ten of them.

_(Turning to roll his eyes at Khali who is now snoring)_

What a loser. I should be the one in PPV matches, not Mr. No Personality over there. No one has moves like me in that ring. I sting like a butter fly and dance like a bee. Wait a second, I mean I dance like a butter fly and sting like a bee. Yeah, that's it. No one can compete against the Shane O Mac Shuffle. That's what people pay to see. I'll have to talk to Stephanie to book me in more matches. I haven't fallen into an airbag in while. Can't let the fans forget my name now can we?

**John**

_(Staring out the window.)_

Okay, if Melina looks my way one more time I'm moving to the back. When is the girl going to take a hint? NOT INTERESTED! If I'm going to bang a diva it sure as hell ain't going to be her. I can only imagine the number of diseases she has.

_(Now looking over at Shane.)_

I'm guessing most of them are from him.

Nah, I want a fine woman with curves but without all the psychotic baggage. Melina would just end up stalking me, then I'd have to get a restraining order, then it'd be all over the internet and it'd just be a big backstage mess. No, I definitely don't need the drama. I've got thirteen year old kids to think about. What would they think if their hero was caught sleeping with the WWE slut? Yeah, I think not.

I need a woman with zero baggage and no strings attached. I'm guessing Brazil has a lot of exotic, tanned hotties I can shack up with. That's right, play Mr. Nice guy for the fans during the day, then let the Dr. of Thugomatics do his thing with the ladies at night. Who would have thought lathering myself up in baby oil and rolling around with other guys on the mat would be such a turn on for the women.

_(Catching a glimpse of Melina still staring at him.)_

Oh for the love of God. Maybe I'll go over and sit next to Khali. Melina can't stand him, I can use him as a shield.

The END!


End file.
